This year I am not making Christmas gifts for the
family.  The bald statement sounds
petulant, but it is actually the result of much soul-searching,
trying-to-be-realistic, and acknowledging-that-choices- must-be-made.

While the kids were growing up, I made them gifts every
year.  Usually I made my husband, George,
something, too.  I often made gifts for
my sisters and nieces and friends (my girls have helped with those in recent
years).  Every now and they, I even made
something for the guys.  These were not
always knitted items – I sewed or crocheted or embroidered gifts.  The girls and I have made jewelry, too. 

And I have loved it. 
One of my favorite parts of Christmas is making gifts.  When I was a small child, I pretended I was
one of Santa’s elves – a lot.  I do not
think I have ever outgrown it.  True, the
gifts have not always been done on time (but, with one or two exceptions, they
were always finished eventually).  True,
some of them have seen less use than I anticipated (the Girly Boxers I knit for
Sasha, for example, or the gorgeous alpaca tam I knit for George last year and
for which, it seems, our climate is never quite cold enough for him to wear
golfing…). 

But it has always been a gamble that I am willing to
take.  It is part of the game.  And it is a good game — but a very
time-consuming one.  One husband, three
daughters, one son, two sons-in-law, one grandson.  Say a decent gift takes 10-20 hours to
make…that means 80-160 hours of knitting. 
Secret knitting.

It came down to the choice: 
either put my Pelagia Fiber Arts knitting projects (which involves, at
present,  2 commissioned pieces, 2 design
projects, and 2 of our standard “elegants” – which are actually already laid
aside while we work on the commissioned pieces) on hold for three months or
reduce Christmas gift-making.

My soul was searched, realistic-ness is being tried, and
choices have been made.

So, it was with a sense of great personal denial that I made
the decision to make gifts every other year instead of every year.  This is the “off year.” 

The family – God love them! — have taken the news with more
stoicism than grace.

“Mom’s not making us anything for Christmas this year.”  Long silence.

“I heard.”  Icy glare.

Afterthought.  “She
had better not be making anything for Max either!”

No.  All friends and
family, kith and kin will be equally denied half-knit socks, outerwear too
gaudy to appear in public, intimate apparel too bizarre to be worn in private,
ornaments and accents bobbled, bangled or beaded.

So far – half-way through October – my resolve holds.  Although Sasha told me that scarves are very
big this year and all the girls on campus are wearing them.  In Santa
Clara, in 80 degree heat, all the chic kids are wearing
scarves – and this is the year I am not knitting for Christmas…..In the
immortal words of Charlie Brown: I Can’t Stand It!!